Diva Knows Best

Ok - it's 2010 and I still have friends who are more interested in recycling men than recycling their weekly cache of empty wine bottles. And believe me, with the men these bitches date, the bottles have a better shot at a bright future. But it's not just the girls - some of my guys and my gays are acting just as ignorant! And it's ridiculous because environmental awareness is pervasive - everyone knows about going green, being green and living green. So why in this day and age do I still have to talk some sense into these people? Because I'm a trendsetter, obviously. But that's the easy answer and I am a proponent of living a deeper truth. If you are brave enough, cool enough and smart enough, then settle in while I tell you all about it.

The truth is, awareness isn't the issue, caring is. And caring is always hard - you have to act on it and shit. Yes, my darlings, there's always a catch. It is hard, but I am here to say get over it!!! If you aren't doing your part to help the Earth by now, you are either ridiculously sheltered (in which case you probably think the Devil is talking to you through the computer screen and you've got bigger problems than global warming) or you are incredibly stupid. What else do you call someone who, in the face of overwhelming scientific evidence, refuses to put any effort into taking care of where they live? (Did you say George Bush? Jinx!!! You owe me a Coke!)

Who am I to say any of this? Maybe nobody. But I did say it. Therefore, I am somebody. And isn't that how all movements start? I am somebody! (Shout out to Jesse Jackson! Just to clarify, I mean vintage, Rainbow Coalition Jesse, not the more recent, way bitter, Obama-bashing Jesse.) The good news is you can be somebody too. It doesn't take much. Truth be told, I am fairly lazy and non-committal. I go to work every day and do a damn good job, but outside of that, television, a good drink, good sex and a good nap are a few of my favorite things. I didn't start caring about the environment until about three years ago. After nearly three decades of fabulous living, my email (paperless!) announcement of my newfound eco-consciousness was met with disdain and disbelief from family and friends. The exact responses ranged from "Oh, now I've heard it all!" to "This can't be real" to "WTF?"

And who can blame them? When you think 'environmentalist', you think of hippies, activists and maybe Al Gore. Certainly not the cute Black chick who doesn't like nature. Yes, I say that. Often. But what I mean is I don't like to be in nature. You will never catch me camping or riding a bike to work, but just because I don't want to roll around on the Earth doesn't mean I don't want the Earth to be there and be healthy! I love nature. As long I'm looking at it from inside of my energy-efficient house. And I know you feel me. Black people don't like water (don't be messin' with our hair) and we don't like the sun (it's hot - and aren't we dark enough already?). Nevertheless, that does not excuse us from playing a prominent role in the fight to save the Earth.

The fact is, if I can care, anyone can care. I was fashionably late to the party, but so what? I'm here now and that's all that matters. I can care about the Earth and my impact on it as much as I care about celebrity gossip and what's in this season - Black is the new green. Now I just need everyone to get in style. Are we seriously going to leave this all up to Al? I love the guy, but please - the Black community is supposed to take the lead on what's hot - why should this issue be any different? We are the people who got (some) white people to start calling themselves "wiggas". Now that's power. Let's use it for good and not evil ('cause wigga was not cute).

Environmental issues affect our community in every way: financially, medically, politically - the list goes on. Do you wonder if you can even afford to live in an environmentally responsible way? Have you ever stopped to consider why asthma is so rampant in the Black community? Did you know that the first choice for toxic waste dumpsites in the United States has historically been in predominantly Black areas?

I don't know everything but I know enough to start asking the questions. And while I am finding the answers I can still take postiive action. No one can do everything, but we can all do the best we can. And don't get it twisted - it's going to take all of us. I don't care if you are a career girl, 'round the way girl, baby mama or BAP. You can be a college man, a corner man, a family man or an into-men man - we need you all. Black really is the new green and like every movement we lead, supporters of every color are more than welcome too. All you've got to do is start where you are and start now. It won't always be easy, but I'll be here the whole time to help guide you through.

Black is the New Green. It's an epidemic. If you are reading this, you are already infected. You may start to feel the symptoms right away or you may have some time before you start feeling the effects. Either way, trust me - it's in your system. All epidemics start with one person - the carrier. Well dolls, allow me to introduce myself: I am Diva Zero. And you are going to catch my chic.