Hello Dolls!
Today is Earth Day (Forty and Fabulous) but by now I should not be telling you anything you don't already know. And actually (you should already know this too) April is Earth Month, but like Black History Month - why acknowledge it for just a month when it affects your entire life?
Black is the New Green is a lifestyle and we need to make some lasting changes. If I know you - and I'm pretty sure I do - you are still being hard-headed and asking what being green can do for you. Well we have established that you can be madsexycool like Diva Zero once you decide to bthenewgreen. Even better than that, you can save cash, be healthier, and save natural resources.
If you reduce your use of paper, electricity and gasoline of course you are going to save money - duh! But when you start thinking that recycling is a pain in the ass, think about this - there is only so much room in a landfill. When landfills get full of your trash, new ones have to be built and guess who pays for that? You, the taxpayer. And not even Barack can help us get around that one. (Yeah, I call him Barack. We go way back - that's how we roll...)
Not convinced? Still think recycling is a pain in the ass? Ok then, precycle. It's easy - don't buy things you don't need, don't buy things that can't be used for a long time and don't buy things that come in a lot of packaging. And while we're at it, don't buy things you can't afford. That ought to take care of most of the problem right there. So now you've helped the environment and your wallet. Bonus: If the bank doesn't have to send you those pesky overdraft notices, you'll save even more paper from being wasted!
If you know me (and a lucky few actually do), you know I am no leaf-eating, tree-hugging health nut. Not that there is anything wrong with that. But being healthy and living green doesn't mean you have to grow your own food and live in a tree. All of the noxious elements you allow into your home - and subsequently into your body - via toxic cleaning supplies, pesticides on (and in) your food, and chemicals in your beauty products, all affect your overall health. And I don't know about y'all, but Diva Zero needs her strength for kicking ass.
Now let's talk about saving natural resources. Why should we do that? Do it for the kids! The concept of legacy is central to the African American experience. Our history is rife with conflict, tragedy and, most importantly, triumph. From enduring slavery to overcoming it, from discrimination, degradation and segregation to taking our rightful, equal place in society, our ancestors have always fought so that we all could have a better life. People died so that you could be free, get an education, and vote. All I'm saying is that the least you can do is reduce your carbon footprint so that those who come after you can enjoy the Earth too. Do it to keep your Black card.
There are plenty more incentives (and trust me dolls, we will eventually get to all of them) but the bottom line is this: If you are at all fond of breathing freely and having access to clean water, you need to bthenewgreen.
Speaking of what green can do for you, go to http://green.yahoo.com/blog/greenpicks/278/earth-day-deals.html for freebies and coupons - most deals are good through the end of the month. Get your free stuff and then celebrate by committing to bthenewgreen.
Happy Earth Day, people.
Go 'head and party,
Diva Zero
Catch my chic.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
You Know What They Say About Big Feet...
Hello Dolls!
Diva Zero is here to settle this once and for all. YES. It is true what they say about big feet! If you are leaving a big footprint, then you really are a huge dick!
Carbon footprint that is.
What did you think I was talking about?
Ok, get your mind out of the gutter and wrap it around this - according to Wikipedia (yes, I did extensive research!) , a carbon footprint is the "total set of greenhouse gases emissions (GHGs) caused by an organization, event or product". But you know me well enough by now to know who it's all about so it's no surprise that I wanted to know what the hell that had to do with me. Well, what I found out is that GHGs are made up of carbon dioxide, nitrous oxide and methane. That's the bougie way of saying that the amount of energy I use, my choice of food and the amount of trash I generate all directly affect global warming. And we've already established that a Diva don't like it hot. Or cold. And global warming makes both of those conditions happen so do your part to help a sista out.
You don't have to be an organization, event or product to leave a carbon footprint. You don't even have to be somethin' like a phenomenon like me. Regular people have a carbon footprint too, and we've all got to do better. Black is the New Green and we've got to start playing our position. This is one area we don't need Black people taking pride in being bigger than everyone else. (And while we're on the subject, sometimes it's false pride. Girls, can I get an Amen?!)
Once upon a time, I went to http://www.myfootprint.org and calculated my own carbon footprint. I'm telling you, this website keeps it 100. Its like that guy you go out with just because he asks you all about yourself. He gets you going on and on about yourself and the next thing you know you're looking at his shoes and trying to give him a tight hug to assess the, umm, situation. After you spill your guts and spell out your whole routine, this website tells you exactly what your impact on the environment is by my favorite method - shame. It says "If everyone on the planet lived my lifestyle, we would need [insert number here] Earths".
Yes dolls, when I saw my number, even I had some work to do. Sure, I was already recycling, but I soon realized that I had to stop eating out four days a week and ordering takeout on the other three. Not only was I making someone waste gas and put more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere just to import ingredients from who knows where to cook and deliver my dinner, but my refrigerator was a styrofoam container graveyard! And even the places that have stopped using styrofoam, still use plastic or paper. We all know to stay away from plastic, but we tend to think that paper is fine. I used to think that the paper cups from the coffee shop weren't hurting anything. But, no. The kind of paper used to keep your food from seeping through and to keep your coffee from leaking is coated with a thin layer of plastic that prevents it from being recyclable. Shame on you, Starbucks. So in addition to my reusable coffee cup, I now cook at home more often. That was a tough change for a Diva to make, but wearing a sexy apron and stilettos while stirring helps me keep my swagger. And I invite my man over so I always know what I'm having for dessert.
Calculate your carbon footprint at http://www.myfootprint.org. A word of warning - just like your scale after the holidays or the "talk" on your third date - you're probably not going to like your number. But don't worry, just like Diva Zero, this site then proceeds to break it down. It will tell you exactly where you are fucking up and how to fix it. And out of all of your numbers, this is the one you can most easily decrease. So check out the site, figure out where you stand and start putting your own practices in place to decrease your carbon footprint and stop being such a big dick.
Size does matter,
Diva Zero
Catch my chic.
Diva Zero is here to settle this once and for all. YES. It is true what they say about big feet! If you are leaving a big footprint, then you really are a huge dick!
Carbon footprint that is.
What did you think I was talking about?
Ok, get your mind out of the gutter and wrap it around this - according to Wikipedia (yes, I did extensive research!) , a carbon footprint is the "total set of greenhouse gases emissions (GHGs) caused by an organization, event or product". But you know me well enough by now to know who it's all about so it's no surprise that I wanted to know what the hell that had to do with me. Well, what I found out is that GHGs are made up of carbon dioxide, nitrous oxide and methane. That's the bougie way of saying that the amount of energy I use, my choice of food and the amount of trash I generate all directly affect global warming. And we've already established that a Diva don't like it hot. Or cold. And global warming makes both of those conditions happen so do your part to help a sista out.
You don't have to be an organization, event or product to leave a carbon footprint. You don't even have to be somethin' like a phenomenon like me. Regular people have a carbon footprint too, and we've all got to do better. Black is the New Green and we've got to start playing our position. This is one area we don't need Black people taking pride in being bigger than everyone else. (And while we're on the subject, sometimes it's false pride. Girls, can I get an Amen?!)
Once upon a time, I went to http://www.myfootprint.org and calculated my own carbon footprint. I'm telling you, this website keeps it 100. Its like that guy you go out with just because he asks you all about yourself. He gets you going on and on about yourself and the next thing you know you're looking at his shoes and trying to give him a tight hug to assess the, umm, situation. After you spill your guts and spell out your whole routine, this website tells you exactly what your impact on the environment is by my favorite method - shame. It says "If everyone on the planet lived my lifestyle, we would need [insert number here] Earths".
Yes dolls, when I saw my number, even I had some work to do. Sure, I was already recycling, but I soon realized that I had to stop eating out four days a week and ordering takeout on the other three. Not only was I making someone waste gas and put more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere just to import ingredients from who knows where to cook and deliver my dinner, but my refrigerator was a styrofoam container graveyard! And even the places that have stopped using styrofoam, still use plastic or paper. We all know to stay away from plastic, but we tend to think that paper is fine. I used to think that the paper cups from the coffee shop weren't hurting anything. But, no. The kind of paper used to keep your food from seeping through and to keep your coffee from leaking is coated with a thin layer of plastic that prevents it from being recyclable. Shame on you, Starbucks. So in addition to my reusable coffee cup, I now cook at home more often. That was a tough change for a Diva to make, but wearing a sexy apron and stilettos while stirring helps me keep my swagger. And I invite my man over so I always know what I'm having for dessert.
Calculate your carbon footprint at http://www.myfootprint.org. A word of warning - just like your scale after the holidays or the "talk" on your third date - you're probably not going to like your number. But don't worry, just like Diva Zero, this site then proceeds to break it down. It will tell you exactly where you are fucking up and how to fix it. And out of all of your numbers, this is the one you can most easily decrease. So check out the site, figure out where you stand and start putting your own practices in place to decrease your carbon footprint and stop being such a big dick.
Size does matter,
Diva Zero
Catch my chic.
Friday, April 2, 2010
For The Fellas
Hello Dolls!
Now we know what every Diva must do for the environment, but you didn't think I was going to forget about the men did you? Relax - I've got advice for everyone, but the woman always comes first.
Five Things Every Man Should Do for the Environment*
1. Care.
A wise fictional character once said "If your genitals are on the outside, you must be hiding something on the inside." Karen Walker may have been drunk and/or high, but wise nevertheless. Don't worry boys, you can buck the stereotype. Listen up: Caring is sexy. Do it. If only because a sexy woman is telling you to.
2. Recycle.
More specifically, carry your woman's recycling out for her. If you live together, do it before she asks you to. Flex those muscles, show off and make her grateful. Good things happen when a woman is grateful. If you don't live together, learn her neighborhood's recycling pick-up schedule. My man learned my schedule and he shows up on recycling days with a cardboard box and a smile. He reaps many benefits. (Okay, I reap the benefits too - my man is good!!!) The point is, you know you're already tracking her menstrual cycle - the recycling schedule is sexier. And more predictable.
3. Learn.
Nerds are hot, dummies are not. Chances are your girl already knows more about the environment than you do, so at the very least you need to bring yourself up to her level. If you think you already know enough, you're wrong. The environment is like your woman's pleasure: there is always more to discover and if you get lazy and complacent it may not be there when you need it. Go ahead and take either one for granted - the damage is irreversible.
4. Give.
Give environmentally friendly gifts whenever possible, especially to your woman. These items can be incredibly affordable and are classic "it's the thought that counts" fodder. Give your woman cute reusable shopping bags, an adorable coffee mug for work or buy CFL bulbs and then take your shirt off and replace all the bulbs in her house. If you're really Mr. Big Stuff, buy her an energy efficient appliance. Anything from a programmable thermostat to an Energy Star water heater would do the trick. Send the message that not only do you care about the environment, you care about her environment. I've already told you what happens when a woman is grateful. And to really seal the deal, add a whisper of "I want to leave the world a better place for our children." (Be careful with this one though. If you're not ready for those children then you'll create a shitload of other problems!)
5. Share.
Tell all your boys, your family, your coworkers - tell every other man you know about these tips. You will help create a better world and better relationships. And they will all think you are the smartest guy they know. Try on Black is the New Green - better living through being better than everyone else.
* Some of you gals may be wondering why there are ten things a Diva must do and only five things a man should do. Well the burden always falls on us, doesn't it ladies? Just kidding! First of all, nice attention to detail - I'm glad you noticed. Second of all, think about it - in five short steps, we've gotten him to do half of our "must-dos" for us! That is what being a Diva is all about - work it smarter and you ain't gotta work it harder. You're getting free labor, gifts and better sex all for the greater good. And no, I didn't tell him to buy our fuel-efficient car for us - don't get greedy, bitch.
Don't get it twisted,
Diva Zero
Catch my chic.
Now we know what every Diva must do for the environment, but you didn't think I was going to forget about the men did you? Relax - I've got advice for everyone, but the woman always comes first.
Five Things Every Man Should Do for the Environment*
1. Care.
A wise fictional character once said "If your genitals are on the outside, you must be hiding something on the inside." Karen Walker may have been drunk and/or high, but wise nevertheless. Don't worry boys, you can buck the stereotype. Listen up: Caring is sexy. Do it. If only because a sexy woman is telling you to.
2. Recycle.
More specifically, carry your woman's recycling out for her. If you live together, do it before she asks you to. Flex those muscles, show off and make her grateful. Good things happen when a woman is grateful. If you don't live together, learn her neighborhood's recycling pick-up schedule. My man learned my schedule and he shows up on recycling days with a cardboard box and a smile. He reaps many benefits. (Okay, I reap the benefits too - my man is good!!!) The point is, you know you're already tracking her menstrual cycle - the recycling schedule is sexier. And more predictable.
3. Learn.
Nerds are hot, dummies are not. Chances are your girl already knows more about the environment than you do, so at the very least you need to bring yourself up to her level. If you think you already know enough, you're wrong. The environment is like your woman's pleasure: there is always more to discover and if you get lazy and complacent it may not be there when you need it. Go ahead and take either one for granted - the damage is irreversible.
4. Give.
Give environmentally friendly gifts whenever possible, especially to your woman. These items can be incredibly affordable and are classic "it's the thought that counts" fodder. Give your woman cute reusable shopping bags, an adorable coffee mug for work or buy CFL bulbs and then take your shirt off and replace all the bulbs in her house. If you're really Mr. Big Stuff, buy her an energy efficient appliance. Anything from a programmable thermostat to an Energy Star water heater would do the trick. Send the message that not only do you care about the environment, you care about her environment. I've already told you what happens when a woman is grateful. And to really seal the deal, add a whisper of "I want to leave the world a better place for our children." (Be careful with this one though. If you're not ready for those children then you'll create a shitload of other problems!)
5. Share.
Tell all your boys, your family, your coworkers - tell every other man you know about these tips. You will help create a better world and better relationships. And they will all think you are the smartest guy they know. Try on Black is the New Green - better living through being better than everyone else.
* Some of you gals may be wondering why there are ten things a Diva must do and only five things a man should do. Well the burden always falls on us, doesn't it ladies? Just kidding! First of all, nice attention to detail - I'm glad you noticed. Second of all, think about it - in five short steps, we've gotten him to do half of our "must-dos" for us! That is what being a Diva is all about - work it smarter and you ain't gotta work it harder. You're getting free labor, gifts and better sex all for the greater good. And no, I didn't tell him to buy our fuel-efficient car for us - don't get greedy, bitch.
Don't get it twisted,
Diva Zero
Catch my chic.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
